Oh my God. So much stuff  has happened. First of all, our first party at the Mansion with Supernova. It was off the hook. Everyone at the house played songs in the Ballroom just like we do when we are by ourselves. Our visitors got a good taste of what we do in the Mansion, mostly because we have no other kind of distractions. It got so crazy, everyone was laughing and dancing. After that crazy fun night we all got to go out on Monday night to the premier of the TV Series “The Contender,” it was in  Santa Monica and it was off the hook as well. Open bar and lots of Lemon Drop Martinis for Mama Z. I had a great  time, even though the next morning felt so tired for the show. Everyone was acting like cute Zombies around the  house.

I was so exited about all the performances on Tuesday night. I was particularly emotional and moody that day, feeling down and blue and scared because my previous week’s close encounter. This song, “Everybody Hurts” was the perfect song for me at the moment. It described everything I wanted  to tell myself  to keep me going strong. I was glad to hear people’s reactions to  the song while I was singing it. I felt their love and that was exactly what I was needing that day. Thank you for much for the love.

But even when I felt so great and confident about my performance on Tuesday  night, I still felt on the bottom at some point. I don’t know what’s going on really. It scared the crap out of me… ? I keep trying to understand what is going on and why is it that keeps people away from fighting for me. Me and Ryan are kind of having fun with it now. We keep on getting asked to stand up. We are  just going to do it on our own from now on. Just because we fu**ing love  it. Hell No! It’s not  cool feeling unpopular.

I don't know what else to do but be myself. I am very honest and sincere, and my sense of humor comes out when I am comfortable.

 

I still believe  that as weeks go by you can know me better and be comfortable with you watching. I can’t wait to be myself. I am getting there slowly around the house and with everyone around. I’m not so serious as you might think. I just choose  my moments or the moments choose me. Who knows. I will just have fun with  it.

I’m glad to have had another week, another chance to grow and learn from this extraordinary  experience. I’m loving every minute of it. The challenge is incredible.

You guys will soon see one of the biggest  challenges yet. We had to gather in groups of 4 people and write lyrics to one of Supernova’s new tunes. We had 6 hours to do it and deliver a recording track. My team had Toby, Phil and  Patrice. It  was so much fun. I love each of those guys. It was the perfect match. We killed it. I personally think our song was the best  only because I  loved the experience we all had together. We had some wine and started jamming  in the Sun Room. I wish you would’ve been there. We couldn’t believe that we actually finished on time and with a song we all loved with passion. I hope you get to hear it.
I loved  hearing everybody’s approach to the tune. It was a very  special  moment.

Fun, Fun, Fun.